“I'd never understood what had happened to me, until I read a book I accidentally stumbled across.” - Andrea Dodds, Transformational Life Coach

The Moment That Changed Everything

It was Spring 2013 when I read something that lifted 15 years of depression.

In an instant!

Something anti-depressants, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), and other talking therapies had failed to do.

And that's the second half of this story.

But first...

When the Truth Finally Made Sense

I was sat up in bed, turning the pages on my Kindle, as the author described conversations and events that were virtually identical to what I'd experienced many years earlier.

Until that moment, I'd never understood what had happened to me, or how I'd ended up as a single parent with an 11-month-old, with no family or financial support.

And yet, there I was, having to deal with one of the two things I never wanted.

Facing the harsh reality of the day-to-day, building and maintaining a professional career as a Resources Manager in the UK's rail industry, and bearing the weight of all this responsiblity, alone.

Realising It Wasn't My Fault

In my innocence, I thought I'd just been really unlocky in love.

But as I read on, it hit me.

None of this was my fault. I'd been conned!

I'd been manipulated. Conditioned. Groomed.

I'd been the victim in not just one, but two consecutive narcissistic relationships before my 24th birthday!

Physical, psychological, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse.

It was all there.

I didn't sleep at all that night. My mind was racing.

And that moment of realisation was a massive turning point for me.

Finally, I could see clearly what had happened.

It also confirmed what I'd suspected all along: That my "depression" wasn't actually depression. It just conveniently fitted into the medical definition of 'depression'.

And here's where the second part of my story starts...

Depression, Misdiagnosis, and the Search for Real Healing

Back in 2004, approximately 12 years after my first toxic, intimate partner relationship, I went to see the Doctor for a low mood, little energy, and no sense of enjoyment with life. 'Depression' if you like.

In the consultation, I was told it was a "chemical imbalance". I thought about it for couple of seconds, and disagreed.

I was then told it was "postnatal depression, and you could get that up to 4 years after giving birth". While that was technically possible, I politely disagreed again, saying I knew it wasn't that either, I just didn't know what it was.

I wasn't a depressed person by nature.

Anti-depressants were prescribed to help lift the mood.

They poisoned me, numbed my ability to think critically, and in one instance, even made me feel suicidal!

Discovering Natural and Rapid Ways to Heal

So, I started to focus on healing and recovering in gently, natural ways that didn't involve revisiting, analysing, or reliving the past.

That's when I discovered Transformational Life Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Emotional Freedom Therapy/Technique (EFT or "Tapping"), and Hypnotherapy. (I went on to create my own modality of Rapid Transformation Hypnotherapy.)

If 15 years of "depression" could evaporate in a moment, so too could other mental health related "things" or challenges.

I started using the various techniques on myself, and even roped in a couple of fellow therapists to work with me!

As my knowledge around narcissistic, psychological, and emotional abuse grew, so did my awareness of trauma. Realising that this had been a missing piece in my own journey, I made a point of becoming trauma informed to understand it more, see it from a different perspective, and compare it to my own experience, before weaving it into my client work.

Understanding Why It Kept Happening

But no healing journey is straightforward, and sadly it took a third narcissistic relationship before I was able to fully understand why I was susceptible and attractive to these predators.

And here's the harsh reality: Very often, the why stems back to childhood.

It did for me, childhood trauma, and it does for so many of my clients.

"You were set up to fail." - That realisation hit me like a tonne of bricks.

Healing After Hidden Abuse: A New Beginning

But, no matter what your journey to here has looked like, it is possible to:

• release trauma bonds

• reconnect with who you are

• heal past hurts

• discover boundaries, and

• become a stronger, more confident, happier, healthier version of yourself.

All from the comfort of your own home without having to relive, revisit, discuss or analyse any of the "things" that happened.

My Lost to Limitless: Hidden Abuse Recovery Protocol (HARP) coaching programme was created to help you not only heal, but also reduce the chances of anything like this ever happening to you again.

The past is not your fault - you didn't know what you didn't know.

The future is yours to create.

Ready to Begin Your Own Recovery Journey?

When you're ready to stop surviving and start rebuilding, I'm here to help you take that first or next step. Book your free, 30 minute, Clarity Call here today.

And if you're wondering what book I was reading, you can get it here: Divorcing a Narcissist, One Mom's Battle - Tina Swithin.

Andrea Dodds

Transformational Life Coach | Rapid Transformation Hypnotherapist

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Specialist